Oh wow, Im so terribly sorry about not updating the past few days ):
I have been incredibly busy. I have been helping my brother move, having family over, and ofcourse driving school.
I am at exactly 165 again ):
Damn you food.
But even better news! I am turning 18 on july 27th, and my mother agreed to letting me get a tattoo.
Im not going to get the painting tattoo because that is for a very special occasion. I have decided on getting a tattoo of a passion flower. For those who have no idea;
Instead of it being purple and blue, I was thinking maroon where the purple is, and red where the blue is, with ofcourse the leafs, but with a light orange background to it.
The story behind this is when I was little my neighbor Atticus had brought this over to my house to give to me. When I saw it it was just a beautiful flower and I couldn't take my eyes off of it.
And im inverting the colors because I mainly getting it for something that is me basically. And I have never seen any pictures of it being any other colors or whatever. The different colors are going to resemble me being unique and different because thats what my friends tell me I am.
Im so fucking excited!
Im going to place it over my heart/collar bone so it's very close to me. :)
odajndmfoamergoijaeo OMG.
Here is some lovely thinspo~
Helllllo ;D
So I weigh 164 right now, and Im so fucking happy. I have broken 165, Woohoo!!
To keep this up, i'm starving all through tomorrow. Toxic-love, please catch up D:
So, the guy I have been telling you about turns out to be a gang member. Yep. He is a blood. Instead of being annoyed, I am also scared of this kid. Please don't split me in half with your black dick if you decide to gang rape me. Yesterday he was all over my nuts, asking for my facebook, and my cellphone number.
This morning I went to the DPS and got my permit~
Im SO excited, and when we got to this school near my near house my dad made me drive the rest of the way. Seriously, what the actual fuck is wrong with him.
Something totally random, but I was watching Miami Ink, and this lady got a tattoo of a painting done by Alphonse Mucha. And I thought about as a big award to myself when I get down to 100, I will get this tattooed on my back.
Not like on my shoulder or anything, but my whole entire back with color. The reason why im getting this is because it represents beauty on the inside AND outside. Plus I will have to stay in shape for this to look good on me. If it's to expensive (because something that big with that much color will be pretty damn pricey), i will get it on the inside of my arm. IT WILL LOOK SO GOOD ON ME. :) Not to be egotistic but mostly oranges, browns, and red looks good on me, so this will look amazing ESPECIALLY with the bright ass blue. SO EXCITED.
Guys you have NO idea how ready I am for the disgusting fat to just come off. I really, am ready just for it to fall off one day. I just hope I do reach my goal. 100lbs. Come on Jess, you can do it. I hope so. I want to be able to go to prom and show off my arms, I want to go to random stores with my best friends and try on random dresses.. :/
@Toxic -- Do you think I could have your facebook or number or something? Because I would love to message/text/call you anytime if I am having troubles, plus it would be great to see how your weight plans are going. :)
Here is some tattoo thinspo! Enjoy--
Im kind of upset right now.
In my driver's class there is this black kid named Dustin. The past few days he has been picking on me,
and just- today sent me a little bit over the edge. He took my papers, and he slid them off and they went across the room. I know this isn't really a big deal. But he was doing it every other five minutes, telling me to shut up, kept turning around and looking at me. The teachers are high-school coaches and just honestly don't give a flying fuck if you told them that something was wrong.
I honestly don't know what to do..
Back to things that don't make me want to cut myself.
Today I only had a slice of pizza, and I am back to 166lbs my followers :)
I have my learner's permit :D
And my mom didn't kill me when she found out I took the cigarettes >:D
I swear this is the only reason why I like my period.
You are never hungry, and when you are the feeling is barely there.
Im not sure what kind of thinspo I will do today. Maybe scenie-weenie. :P
God damn, I want to be them.
Hey Guys,
I kind of have gotten down to 166ish, but it's going to be kind of hard to tell because I have been drinking a lot the past few days, so water weight is there.
Today was fairly good. I opened one of my mom's new pack of cigarettes and smoked like.. five of them. And I haven't got shit yet, so either she hasn't looked at that pack yet, or she just doesn't care anymore. I really hope she just doesn't care.
Today for lunch I have 2 1/2 5-layer burritos from TacoBell (those are kind of my weakness), but ofcourse it came back up.
Driving school is actually crazy fun. Im not saying that because "OOOO IM DRIVIN' A CAR, 20 POINTS IF I HIT THE OLD LADYYY"- but because we are in a class room setting. I sit with my friends Rachel and Lindsey, and im kind of friends with this one black kid. I have no idea what his name is but today he kept knocking my soda and papers over. Asshole. Also, there is this one kid that came in yesterday with these ripped up tight jean shorts, and this tank top, just covered in sweat. He has brown hair, brown eyes, a tad bit of acne (NOT like pizza face. Just here and there.) My friend rachel and lindsey were like "Oh gosh, he's so cute." I just took one look at him and said "Ew."
But today he looked really cute, maybe it was because of all the sweat yesterday. I just really hope I have a good seat next to him tomorrow. So im going to see if I can get in early enough or whatever.
What I like most about driving school is that I don't eat all! There are a lot of restaurants in the strip mall where my school is located but I dont eat there since our break is like 5-15 minutes long. I dont eat for lunch when my dad is home, so they give me money when I go to the school so I can have "dinner". So they are just basically giving me money. And I do squat nothing. :)
I also highly believe that my instructor-teacher-guy is a Pedo. Im not kidding! All his little "driving experiences" (which he told us like over 50 today. Literally.) was all GIRLS. But what I do like about him is that he smokes and he is honest about it. During our five minute break he said "Yeah- you guys go do whatever, I'm going to have a cigarette." Haha :)
Anyways guys, here is some thinspo :)
Once again, I love this little doll- Ariana Grande :D
I'm very disappointed in myself.
..But I have three followers now!
I gained 6 pounds from just staying one blasted night at my brother's.
But I have three followers!
Yep that's right I gained 6 pounds while I was at Eric's (my brother.)
I can totally understand why, I just didn't think it would be that many pounds. Oh well, and calorie is a god damn fucking calorie.
So the day I got there, I had only eaten a Chicken Parmigano Pasta or something spelled along those lines over at RedRobins (YUM!). I really, really, really LOVE that place. Unfortunately the most killer food, and hottest guy waiters. That's all I ate for like actual food wise. BUUUTTT, when living amongst sin- thou cave into evil. Meaning I ate handfuls of cheerios and played beer-pong. ;D (Also Apples to Apples!)
Next day I had two grilled cheese sandwiches, and 2 reeses cups.. and a big.. tall.. cold.. glass of heavy chocolate milk. My brother's room mate got it and I fucking made it. I know I shouldn't have but going over there is kind of going off in to LALA-WHEREVERTHEFUCK-land. I get to do what I want. Not to sound spoiled. I smoke and I drink, and I eat like a girl thats trying to get a gravitational pull and craters in the face to match with it.
Im surprised it was only 6 pounds then I was like FUCK 6 POUNDS D:<
But it's okay. Just by skipping dinner last night I lost three, so it's okay.
What I really wanted to kind of do while I was there was to swim or go walking for awhile like i usually do everyday but the pool was closed and Eric doesn't go walking on the weekends.
Instead of eating dinner yesterday I went practice driving with my dad, and it was really fun. Besides a random car showing up all of a sudden. I was like "PLEASE DON'T DRIVE AROUND THE PARKING LOT, I WILL WRECK YOUR SHIT."
It was quite a sight.
Speaking of cars, I actually have my FIRST driver's ed class today. Im really nervous. My friend Rachel that is going turns out didnt turn her V.O.E. in, which is proof of enrollment in school. But her name is still on the chart and everything from what she told me so I guess it's all good? I dont know?
I need advice for exercises!!! And I have a (somewhat broken) weak ankle, and both of my wrists are very damaged.
It's going to be very hard for when im walking later because I now have this blister that takes up most of the space of the ball of my foot. It sucks and blows.
Anyways THINSPO--
Turns out im not going to my brother's for today, but I'm going tomorrow.
Even though its just for one day, I just seriously dont want to screw up.
Sure there are those days when you treat yourself with a pizza slice or something.
But if I dont eat a lot, he will know something is up.
I'm back to being 166, apparently I'm just all sorts of MAGICAL.
For dinner we had burger king, I had a plain Cheese burger and a shit ton of frys though :P I just couldn't stop eating them! They were so yummy! keep me away from those.
Also I had fail to mention earlier, I went to walmart. I bought a butt ton of foundation shit. its amazing.
BUT I STILL COULD NOT GET THE BLACK CRACKLE NAIL POLISH.
Also;
Toxic: I love the crap out of your blog, it just totally speaks to me. And so far, I'm only doing the prego-sauce for the under arms. Do you have any to suggest?
Last night was just completely horrible.
I did all my exercises;
-300 sit ups
-100 under arm on each arm
-30 minutes on the treadmill.
You bet I was in pain. Then, my friend Pruitt called me and we had a conference call with him and his girlfriend.
He was just downing me and her for the whole entire hour. So, I ate; 2 slices of pizza (with ranch), a piece of cake, 2 bowls of cereal, and a bowl of soup.
You bet I binged and purged. I purged like I accidentally OD'd and I was trying to get that shit out of me.
Then something magical happened. I weighed myself this morning, and I weighed 166.
I dont know about you, but that just lighten me up. I was so surprised I did a triple-take at that number.
But then my Dad and I went to Ihop, and I had gotten the spinach and cheesy omelet thingy. Spinach was good, the cheesy omelet was not. I had 5 glasses of water with the meal and the waiter was like "holy shit."
Haha :P
But today is Friday, and every weekend I usually go over to my older brother's apartment. Im a wee bit cautious right now, because EVERYTIME I go over there I eat like such a fucking slob, its disgusting. Last time I gained five pound. FIVE POUNDS over the course of TWO DAYS. FUCKING FIVE POUNDS IN TWO DAYS! You thought 2-girls-1-cup was nasty, bullshit, THAT IS NASTY.
Wish me luck. Please. Oh, and here is some more thinspo <3
